Sunday, April 30, 2006

A Simple Plan

[music: Anything for You - Evanescence]
[mood: accomplished]

A conversation I had Friday with a friend online opened up some very interesting ways to deal with my issues. I have many, and it basically requires me to put everything into perspective and question my reasons, and face truths. I'm glad to say... so far so good.

A few years ago a book helped me with a lot of my issues. It's worked to an extent, but I still deal with self-doubt when it comes to art and design. Despite those things, I still study. I still look to my design 'teachers' so to speak. I still take my job seriously, and try to put out the best work I can do. I can at least say that I'll know when my time comes.

Dinner with friends last night. Been busy most of the week, actually. I didn't have a lot of time to write like I want to, plus keep up the food log, which I will do tonight. In any case, we went to this little Italian place where I had the best white pizza ever. The conversation was ...for the most part... 'best -insert food- you've ever had''s amazing how people will remember the year, and what ever place in the world they were when they had their best sandwich, pizza, ice cream.

Tuesday, April 18, 2006

My Wife, the Photographer

[Music - Snakedriver - The Jesus & Mary Chain]
[Mood - okay]

So the Wife's been taking some photographs lately. Every now and then she gets in these modes where she wants to take pictures. She took a few non-credit courses last year and bought a nice manual camera, so she uses both.

The reason I'm glad for this is because we had this huge discussion on art and how she's not at all artistic, or interested in art, while our best friends (and me) are artists in some way or another. Yet, I think what she's doing is the tip of an artistic iceberg.

I'm biased, because she's my wife, but I think she has a good eye for photographs. The classes she took were on how to operate a manual camera. I think if she took the next level class, the one on composition, I think she could do even better.

The Bagged Lady

[Music: Broken - Tapping the Vein]
[Mood: Numb]

Dunkin Donuts strikes again. I couldn't get my Monday morning mocha because they have a 10.00 minimum charge, and I would've gotten to work late had I stopped at the ATM.

This is not the first time that DD location has inconvenienced me. As pissed as I was, I felt like launching a complaint to Visa... since it's against Visa/Mastercard policy for merchants to charge a minimum. It defeats part of the convenience of having/using a bank card to pay for things, no matter what amount.

So, there I was, driving to work empty handed, and a little bent out of shape over the whole thing. Should I complain to Visa? Should I complain to the manager? Would it be worth my time & effort?

Then I remebered the Bagged Lady.

A few weeks ago, a few freinds and I were in NYC, walking down Madison Ave... and if I'm recalling correctly, it was 50th or 51st street. We saw a woman laying on the sidewalk, leaning against a fire hidrant, wrapped in nothing but a plastic garbage bag, begging for money. I did a Google search on homeless and mental illness connection. There's a lot of info out there, but the bottom line is... I'll never get that image out of my mind. She didn't look right... she was mumbling, and had her cup out. She literally had nothing.

It's unfair to compare my life to hers. I'm not going to sit here and say 'well, it could be worse' ...I know it can. It does keep me in check, in a way. Not starting off my morning with my mocha isn't the catastraphe I make it out to be. It serves as a reminder that I have bigger, more important things to devote my thought energy to.

Monday, April 17, 2006

Time to get Parinoid

[Music: Don't You (forget about me) - Simple Minds]
[Mood: Annoyed]

Saturday afternoon I'm waiting to go out, I'm flipping channels, and I cruise by Fox News. I just happen to catch the host saying that they've got new information on the murder case in Leola, PA (guy killed 6 of his family members.)

Now, anyone who knows me knows I don't get my news from network news channels, and I particuarly despise FOX News. I wasn't going to go online any time soon, so I figured I'd stay tuned and wait to see the report, after commercial.

So, they return from commercial, and the dude is back, with this guest woman, and they start talking about the murder in Oklahoma of the 10 year old girl, who's neighbor had her body.

So, this news woman, her name is Kimberly Guilfoyle (who looks like a Star Trek alien) is talking about this murderer, cannibalism and the fact that it was her neighbor who took this little girl. She goes on about the fact that it was her neighbor... and she gets heated and says, "It's time to get parinoid!"

I threw my hands in the air. This is why I despise this network. 'It's time to get parinoid', am I supposed to be affraid of my neighbors now? Maybe I should get a gun, and the next time a neighbor asks me to help them with something, I'll wave it around and yell at them to get off my property on the very VERY slight chance they could be a cannibal or mass murder.

Sorry, I refuse to 'get parinoid' ...but, what's worse... someone who actually takes that shit to heart, means they'll be affraid of me. ME. The only thing my neighbors need to be affraid of is if I found out they're Philadelphia Eagle's fans. I may be over all the time.


Friday, April 14, 2006

Suburban Mist

[Music - Soul Kitchen, The Doors]
[Mood - bleh]

It thunderstormed for a bit, and then it got PERFECT outside. The tempature was perfect, it was partly cloudy, but it was the evening, so the sun was setting. I walked the dog, she had a field day since everything had been rained on. I can't imagine having a sense of smell 500 times greater than humans.

I started thinking about all the little 'suburban hell' things I've seen and read throughout my life... how much suburban life suck and everything. I can understand the 'suburbs' acting as a metaphore for what ever purpose those movies, stories or songs were tyring to express. I just can't relate to that because I grew up in such a place that was a gunfight a way from being an official ghetto. So, the grasser was always greener in those cookie cutter developments.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

Old Advice, New Revelation

[Music - Dead Souls - Nine inch Nails]
[Mood - tired]

I'm glad Wife had her second day of photo taking. She also wants to learn how to re-size photos and post them on her Flickr account. I hope this becomes a regular thing for her.

Today was rather busy. I like busy days.

I once told an old acquaintance that I had trouble with being blocked creatively. Her suggestion was that when ever I felt blocked, have a cup of coffee. I never followed her advice, because it seemed that I can apply that to anything... if I felt blocked, go jog around the neighborhood, and when I come back, I'll be unblocked.

During my Starbucks morning endeavourers... I'll read a little from a design master, then open my sketch book. I'll be darned if I don't feel a bit accomplished, even if I only took down a few notes during thought process. Then I go to work really charged. Now... I'm not sure if the grande cafe mocha I usually have in my hand has anything to do with this, but... my old acquaintance could've been right all along.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

Days Like This (and a rant)

[Music: In Your Head - Holly Golightly]
[Mood: Tired]

It was just one of those days. A lot was happening, and a lot was coming at me at once. The only saving grace to days like this is that it goes fast. I'm surprisingly tired, though.

Wife was questioning my contempt for TV commercials. I told her that 99% of them are annoying, and uncreative. This is similar to my contempt for music videos. I went on to say how all they do is try to play to our cravings and desire products we don't need. Car and beer commercials are the absolute worst, especially during sports broadcasts.

She concluded with asking why I even care. Why does it even bother me.

She's right, though. I didn't have an answer. I don't know why I care that I hate commercials. Not sure why I put much brain power into it.


Monday, April 10, 2006

New Beginnings

[Music: Boztik Haze by Thee Headcoatees]
[Mood: Content]

So, been painting for a while now. Everyone says they 'like' my work... but, I'm not sure if it's flattery or if it's genuine. In any case, I've already hit a crossroads again. I enjoyed experimenting with the paints and the other materials, but I want more out of it. I think I'll stick with the charcoal and black and white paintings.

I went to NYC a couple of weeks ago to see the Whitney Biennial, and although it was disappointing at best... a few works of art stood out, and made me realize that I want to try to work big. All this time I've been working small, but if I can turn out something big... something massive to look at. A new goal has been set.

My mom has told me she'd like to leave South Bethlehem. I'm so happy for her, because it'd be improving her life. She'd be doing something for herself for a change. Some times she talks about it, but this is the first time she sounded sincere. I hope she goes through with it.