Friday, September 19, 2003

Thirteenth Step

"Desperate and Ravenous, I'm so weak and powerless over you." -APC

A few weeks ago, I finally made a decision to change myself after I got into a huge argument with Raquel over our future plans. She wants to get our own place and get married. I want those things too... but, I only have a part time job that I don't want to get rid of.

Basically, she wants me to get any full-time job, and I can't do that. I need to be happy where I work. The industry is shitty right now, and I have tried to get a couple of interviews (even went to one) but, it sucks out there.

The argument got heated, and she said some hurtful things... that were true.

I decided I had to take action with myself, be more positive about our relationship, be more motivated to finish what I start, and to have confidence in myself.

So far, the path to the new me is a bit rocky, but I knew it wouldn't be easy.

I decided I want to go back to school. I want to get my bachelor of fine arts and start being a contender for the higher paying jobs.

As for my job situation...well, as hard as a decision this is, I guess I should find another part time job. I don't want to quit my job by any means.

Now, about the new APC album....

It's a work of beautiful art.